On My Own
by uknowwhoslittleprincess
Summary: Sydney walks back to her house while thinking about Vaughn. I love SydVaughn but yet again, i could not resist temptation to write this. RR


A/N: hey everyone, it is yet another songfic. This time it's about Sydney as she thinks about Vaughn and Lauren. The song is called On My Own and it's from the play Les Miserables. I know most of my songs are musical songs. Lol well here goes:  
  
On My Own  
  
And now I'm all alone again  
  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to  
  
Without a home, without a friend,  
  
Without a face to say hello to.  
  
And now the night is near  
  
Now I can make believe he's here.  
  
I walk back to my new home. The new home that I share with no one. My friends are either dead or under protection. My hands are in the pockets of my long pea coat. I think about what I used to have with him. I remember when I first met him. I was still mourning for Danny, but he was there for me. He was my rock. Slowly, as time went on, I felt more for him.  
  
Sometimes I walk alone at night  
  
When everybody else is sleeping  
  
I think of him and then I'm happy  
  
With the company I'm keeping  
  
The city goes to bed  
  
And I can live inside my head.  
  
I grew to depend on his friendship. I even called him my guardian angel. We could never be more though. I still worked at SD-6. If we went out, I would be compromised. We kept our relationship plutonic. We went through almost two years of either lying to ourselves about our true feelings or talking about what we would do together if we were ever free of the bind. We said we would go on vacation together, or eat together at a restaurant he said was amazing. Oh, how we longed for the freedom.  
  
On my own  
  
Pretending he's beside me  
  
All alone, I walk with him till morning  
  
Without him  
  
I feel his arms around me  
  
And when I lose my way I close my eyes  
  
And he has found me  
  
Finally, the alliance was taken down and we were together. Those few months were amazing. I finally was able to have him. We were allowed to speak to each other in public. But then, everything changed.  
  
In the rain the pavement shines like silver  
  
All the lights are misty in the river  
  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
  
And all I see is him and me for ever and forever  
  
The next thing I new, it was two years later. Vaughn was married to another woman. And I was alone. I had scars on my body that I didn't know how I had gotten. When I got to go back to the CIA, I had to watch him kiss her. Watch him love her. It's probably the worst pain I have ever had to endure.  
  
And I know it's only in my mind  
  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
  
And although I know that he is blind  
  
Still I say, there's a way for us  
  
The biggest problem is that I can't hate her. She is so nice and sweet and beautiful. She truly loves him. I would never forgive myself if that relationship broke because of me. I want to hate her. I want to hate her so much. But I can't.  
  
I love him  
  
But when the night is over  
  
He is gone, the river's just a river  
  
without him the world around me changes  
  
The trees are bare and everywhere  
  
The streets are full of strangers  
  
Now I have learned of what I did during those two years. I worked for the bad guys, while helping the good guys along. I still don't remember it. This is just what I have been told.  
  
I love him  
  
But every day I'm learning  
  
All my life I've only been pretending  
  
Without me his world will go on turning  
  
A world that's full of happiness  
  
That I have never known!  
  
I am alone now. He isn't beside me. I walk alone through the streets of LA, wishing he were here. But he is with her. He is always with her. I still love him. I always will. But he has moved on. It is time for me to move on as well. At least I will try.  
  
I love him  
  
I love him  
  
I love him  
  
But only on my own  
  
A/N: How did you like it? Please Read and review. Your reviews are what keep me going. 


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